Thursday, March 02, 2006
It's a Weird Feeling - But Too Familiar
So, I'll preface this post by saying that I've had this happen before and I'm am honestly not sure just what sparks it. I wish I knew because then I'd have some clue it was going on before I had to deal with it. Instead it just lands on me suddenly.

I'll also mention that logic and rationality seem to have little to do with it. And yes, I've been tested for bi-polar, etc. but short of some Seasonal Affective Disorder, I'm fine.


Ever have one of those days when you really feel like you're either wearing someone else's skin or maybe you just don't fit in the way you thought you did?

Today (and yesterday) are days like that. I just don't feel ... connected. I feel like I'm watching the world from about 10 paces away and I'm not really involved. I'm unnoticed and unnoticable.

It's very weird. I'm not normally a very needy person. I am actually considered rather anti-social by many people, especially in person, and tend to be extremely comfortable with myself and silence.

My psych minor tends to rear it's ugly head at times like this and cause me to try to psychoanalyze myself. Not exactly a recommended practice but oh well.

When I get this sensation, my instinctive urge is to retreat. To crawl fully into my hole and drag the cover down after me. When I really start to try to figure out why, I *think* it is boiling down to emotional investment in the people I chat with and the projects I am working on. It's now become important to me that they like me and continue to like me. Despite my comfort with self, I like THEM a lot and I don't want to feel disposable. I think the neediness comes from some inane need for reassurance.

I have no idea why and certainly no one needs to feed my whiny little subconscious. The feeling passes in a day or two but it's such an ODD sensation. A little eerie, a little whiney, a little bratty.

Does anyone else get this same weird feeling? Same reason? Different reason? Or am I just as weird as people claim?


  1. I don't know about that...but I completely see a book out of this sensation. What if you had a heroine who had this feeling and discovered that she WAS watching her life from 10 paces away. Who's running her body at the time she's away? etc. Maybe it's just your muse giving you a nudge. :-)


  2. Oh I so know that feeling! How weird that you get it too. That wonky, disconnected, I'm all alone and nobody likes me and I'm gonna eat worms feeling.

    And then 'poof''s gone.

    Weird, huh? I feel so much better to know I'm not alone in my oddness. Thank you, Maura. *g*

  3. LOL - great idea Shannon. I've actually got something in the idea box that I can add this to and it works! Now to finish the WIP I have so I can start another one!

    Thanks, Jaci, I'm really glad to know it's not just me!

  4. Maura,
    what you have is a case of parenthesis. I once blogged about this :-P. It's a feeling of disconnect. My best friend and I coined this term our freshman year in college. You see everything and everyone around you, but are strangely unaffected by it. My friend holds the parenthesis went on for a week solid in 92. I've gone four days at the longest. It'll pass girlfriend.

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