Thursday, March 02, 2006
What do you do to cope?
A little background ... I sent out an informal essay that I'd scrawled out for a non-fiction anthology (it was rejected - no huge surprise or heartbreak) to a loop I'm on. I stated to start with that it's unedited and uncorrected but I thought people would be amused.

Most people got what I had intended - a little laugh.

But I got back one piece of private mail from a loop member that was, in my opinion, absolutely scathing. I won't post the mail here but it boiled down to it was crap, no wonder it was rejected and I shouldn't put it on my site because it's not worth it.

I'm in shock a little, I think. I've gone between outraged, hurt, pissed off and am not debating killfiling this particular person (it's not the first time I think this person has been a jackass).

Anybody got advice? I'm trying to not let it affect me but I can tell I'm now a little leary of picking up my WIP and working on it. How do you cope if/when this happens? What would you do - and creating a flame war on the alias is out, I won't be a party to that.


  1. if it's somebody who is often deliberately an ass, I wouldn't worry about it. Well, as much as you can, any time somebody is so negative.

    A lot of people, sadly, are very negative no matter what they say. Ask the opinion of somebody you trust to be honest and tell that guy to kiss off.

    and i love your sparkly 'comment' bar. i want sparklies.

  2. There could be many reasons why this person was such an ass to you. Maybe there's some jealousy there? They may be threatened by you. Remember that. I've seen it many times before.

    Whatever the motivation, consider the source. Anyone who acts like that isn't someone whose opinion I've value. Not even a litte ;)

  3. Like Shiloh was saying ... sounds like someone passing off their negativity on others. Maybe they've been rejected and haven't gotten over it yet?

  4. Don't worry about anyone's opinion of you to the point that it affects you this badly. People can be negative and mean, and it has nothing to do with you. Keep on being cool, kill their ass with kindness and in the end you're the winner. This, I've learned the hard way.

  5. Don't let someone's bad attitude ruin your own. That's the best advice I can give. Even if it were not your best work, there are nice ways to tell people. Someone who sends out a reply with that much negativity in it, is simply not someone worthy of your time or energy.

  6. I've got a few of those. The best I can say is they email me privately-- I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. Still... I understand it. WE're only human and stuff like that gets us down. Add that to the regular life stress... you just help but wonder if folks don't have enough to do.


  7. well you already know my thoughts on the whole thing *g*

    glad the sulk is finished hon.

  8. I CANNOT believe someone would be that much of an ass as to do that to you. Don't let it bother you! That person is probably a frustrated, and probably rejected writer. I've had that happen, and you just have to ignore them and like you basically said, you won't begin to stoop to that level.


  9. These things happen. To everybody. So you're not alone, although it'd be nice if this sort of thing was rare. It's one reason to be very careful about critque groups and so on; people who help you fix what's broken are invaluable but people who beat you over the head with your mistakes are dangerous to your creativity. "Don't let the bastards get you down" is always good advice. ; )

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